Dear Miss Behavin’: My last dog, Harry, used to gaze lovingly into my eyes all the time. It made me feel like we had such a good bond! My new dog, Hildy, rarely makes eye contact. Often when I call her name, she lifts her head but looks to the side. A friend said she’s being dominant by refusing to look at me. What do you think?
While there are exceptions to every rule, like Harry, the fact is that eye contact in dog language is very unfriendly and confrontational. While we as humans use eye contact as a way to connect with people, dogs often take this gesture as a threat. To your friend’s point, Hildy is not being dominant. On the contrary, she is intimidated by your stare.
Dogs who love people and have been socialized well, like Harry may have been, are sometimes more keen to this human way of communication. Often unintentionally, many puppies are counter-conditioned to be okay with or even seek out eye contact. This happens when eye contact is paired with something the puppy finds positive, like attention, ear rubs, a treat, or praise.
Hildy, on the other hand, may have never received this message, and as such, is not being dominant when she avoids your gaze. She is simply uncomfortable because your stare is considered rude in the dog world. To build her confidence in the human world, point your gaze between her ears or to her back instead of her eyes. This way, you can watch her body language to understand how she’s feeling, while not inadvertently being rude. Teach her that looking to you is a good thing by luring her gaze to your eyes with a yummy treat and rewarding her when her eyes meet yours.